Gulsoom: Forced into child marriage at just six years old

The “16 Days of Activism” campaign is a global movement aimed at raising awareness and ending gender-based violence against women and girls. Held annually from November 25 (International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women) to December 10 (Human Rights Day), the campaign brings together countries, civil society organizations, and activists. This year’s theme, “United to End Digital Violence Against All Women and Girls,” emphasizes the urgent need to combat online harassment and discrimination.

The Rights Monitor Media will cover the campaign by sharing news, reports, personal stories, and reflections from Afghan women and girls, highlighting their experiences with violence and restrictions.

At just six years old, Gulsoom was given in marriage to a 19-year-old man — a decision made not for her future, but to settle a violent feud between two families in Nangarhar’s Kama district. Her brother had killed a man during a dispute. To end the conflict, village elders decided that a daughter from the “killer’s” family must be given to the “victim’s” family — a practice known as baad, in which girls are handed over to settle disputes — and that daughter was Gulsoom.

Too young to understand the discussions taking place among the elders, she found her fate decided long before she could comprehend what marriage meant. She recalls that she could not even manage basic household chores at the time.

When she arrived at the groom’s family home, the first thing she realized was that childhood would no longer be an option. “From that day on, they put all the housework on me,” she says. “I couldn’t even hold a teacup properly.” While other girls her age were learning to read or playing outside, Gulsoom grew up under constant labor, humiliation, and harsh treatment.

As the years passed, her fiancé — thirteen years older — became increasingly violent and fell into drug addiction. “He would beat me for any reason,” she says. “My youth meant nothing. It slipped away in pain.”

Now 27, the burdens and humiliation of her early years weigh heavily on her. Marriage did not bring stability; instead, she encountered more violence, pressure, and financial insecurity. Her husband remained addicted and unemployed, and the responsibility of supporting her and her two children fell to her family — a dependence that continues today.

Much of her adolescence unfolded in an environment shaped by fear and abuse. The mistreatment persisted for so long that she attempted suicide several times, each time stopped only because someone intervened in the final moments.

Today, she says she is still treated as an “undeserving outsider” in her husband’s household. “They always remind me that I was given in baad, and because of that, they treat me with prejudice. That’s why I’ve tried to kill myself several times, but my husband or father-in-law stopped me.”

With a trembling voice, she calls on families not to sacrifice their daughters for the sake of harmful customs. “I hope no other girl is sold into a fate like mine. Don’t let them become victims of these traditions.”

Islamic scholar Ismatullah Hanafi stresses that maturity and free consent are fundamental conditions for any marriage. A union conducted without the consent of both parties, he says, is invalid in Islam. He adds that no individual can be punished for another person’s actions, and giving girls in baad contradicts Islamic teachings.

“Just as a boy has the right to choose a partner,” Hanafi says, “a girl must have the right to choose her husband. Unfortunately, many families in Afghanistan still give their daughters in baad. These customs have no basis in religion.”

Women’s rights activists argue that engaging girls before puberty or giving them away in baad strips them of fundamental rights and shapes the rest of their lives in destructive ways. Such decisions deny girls education, independence, personal development, and the possibility of choosing their own future.